Little Johnny Boy

Little Johnny Boy
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying. “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid, stand up!”. After a few seconds, Little Johnny stoop up. The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?” “No, ma’am but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself” Bé Johnny Một giáo viên mới vào nghề đang thử áp dụng môn tâm lý của mình. Cô bắt đầu bài giảng bằng cách nói: “Em nào nghĩ rằng ...

Because of absence

Because of absence
Because of absence Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test? Junior: Because of absence. Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test? Junior: No, but the kid who sits next to me was. Vì vắng mặt Mẹ : “Tại sao con lại bị điểm thấp như vậy trong bài kiểm tra đó hả?” Con trai: “Bởi vì vắng mặt " Mẹ : " Con muốn nói rằng đã vắng mặt vào ngày có bài kiểm tra đó à ? " Con trai : " Không, đứa vắng mặt là đứa ngồi cạnh co

Stone and Stone – Breaker

Stone and Stone – Breaker
A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train. He had never seen them before, so he began: “My name is Stone, and I’m even harder than stone, so do what I tell you or there’ll be trouble. Don’t try any tricks with me, and then we’ll get on well together.”Then he went to each soldier one after the other and asked him his name. “Speak loudly so that everyone can hear you clearly,” he said, and don’t forget to call me "sir".Each...

Lucy

Lucy
Lucy A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughter her tea before putting her to bed. First, she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, "when I was a small girl like you,...

Elevator

Elevator
Elevator A village boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, especially two shiny walls that could move apart, and back together again. The boy asked his father, “ What is this father?” The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is.While the boy and his father were watching wide- eyed, an old lady, limping slightly, and ...

Handwriting

Handwriting
Sir” hissed the lawyer, “do you swear this is not your signature?” “Yes.” “Is it not your handwriting?” “Nope” “You take your solemn oath that this writing does not resemble yours in a single particular?” “Yes” “How can you be certain?”, demanded the lawyer. “I can’t write,” smiled the man. Chữ viết tay “Thưa ngài,” luật sư rít lên giận dữ, “ngài có dám thề rằng đây không phải là chữ ký của ngài không?” “Vâng” “Đó không phải là chữ v...

Radio Broken

Radio Broken
A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an Old Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow rain.” The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow storm.” The next day there was a hailstorm. “This Indian is incredible,” said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather. However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn’t show up for two w...

The arm was guilty

The arm was guilty
The arm was guilty A man was brought before the judge. The witness said that the day before the prisoner had stolen some pears from a basket, outside a grocer’s. The solicitor said to the judge: “It is true that the prisoner took a few pears with his right arm; his right arm is guilty, but not he himself; you can not punish the whole body because one of its limbs is guilty.” “You are quite right,” answered the judge, “so I sentence the prisoner’s ri...

Grandma wouldn’t lie

Grandma wouldn’t lie
Grandma wouldn’t lie Little Johnny was at his first day of shool. The teacher advised the class to start the day with the pledge of allegiance, and instructed them to put their right hands over their hearts and repeat after him. He looked around the room as he started the recitation, “I pledge allegiance to the flag…” When his eyes fell on Little Johnny, he noticed his hand over the right cheek of his buttocks. “Little Johnny, I will not continue til...

Too short for me

Too short for me
Too short for me… In the Spring fair, a 4 year old child who got lost was crying. A security guard came to console him and said: “If you don’t want to get lost, you should have gripped your mother’s dress”. The boy cried sniffingly: “But my mother’s skirt was too short for me to grip.” Quá ngắn để cháu… Trong một hội chợ xuân, một đứa trẻ 4 tuổi bị lạc đang khóc. Người bảo vệ lại gần an ủi nó và nói: “Nếu cháu không muốn bị lạc thì phải nắ...

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